20 lessons from 20 years

Hey there, beloved! Being able to claim that I’ve been alive for two decades is both super cool and super disturbing. I’m uncomfortable with decades, unless we’re talking roaring ’20s.

I’d love to share with you guys 20 lessons I’ve learned from life, one for each year I’ve been alive.

1. Don’t be afraid to start something new. People often ask how they should start, and I probably annoy them with my answer: just start! Don’t overthink it. You could plan and plan and plan for the rest of your life and get done with a really nice-looking checklist and bibliography. I’d rather have a messy paper.
2. Look for the beauty in the terrible. Yes, life hurts. I think I became an adult the day my jaw dropped and I realized that truth. However, I also realized that my God takes the ugly and does amazing things. And that’s why He’s God. Who else—what else?!—could do something like that?
3. We don’t know everything. In fact, we don’t even know a little bit. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been a Christian; how many Christian camps you’ve counseled at; what Christian school you went to or how many Bibles you own or how long your devotions are. We just can’t ever be content in our knowledge of the Bible because it will always be ashamedly incomplete. There’s a beauty in that, though, because we can be students of the Word for the rest of our lives and it’ll never get old.
4. There will be growing pains. Sometimes we’re growing and we don’t see results. All we have is pain. We feel we’re doing everything right, yet still failing. Why is everyone around us succeeding? Why were they healed? Why can they sell that? Why do they have more followers? Why do they have better grades? Find the beauty and joy in the process. Sometimes God needs to keep us on the anvil a little longer to shape us into His treasure.
5. Family is so important. There was a time in my life when I just wanted to get out of the house and move on. I mentally and physically was moving on. Yet God needed me to be a part of my family for a few more years and He drew me back to them. Yes, family can be hard. There’s no perfect family. Maybe getting out of the house seems like a dream come true for you. But I think I can promise you that one day, you’ll miss someone paying for your meals and roof; you’ll miss the company and maybe even the advice. And, even if not, God made us for family. It’s important to Him, so it should be important to us!
6. Aesthetics aren’t everything. Don’t wait until your bedroom is perfectly clean or decorated, or your wardrobe is curated just so. Live your life now, whether there’s coffee shop vibes or not.
7. Get to know the “nobodies.” Whether that’s the quiet people at school, the cashiers at your local grocery store, or even baristas and people in the fast food windows: they’re people too! At least say thanks. It means a ton!
8. Labels are dumb. I used to live for my labels as smart, athlete, and even desirable. People used those words about me and I just licked them up. But those labels go away. People change their minds, our roles and statuses change. And what do we have then? Cultivate those roles that are more long-term. (daughter, student, employee).
9. Put yourself in others’ shoes. Be willing to see the other side. Engage in good-natured debates. It’ll either help you secure your own beliefs or iron out the wrinkles.
10. Make your faith your own. Everyone has to answer Jesus’ question: “Who do you say I am?” Not “Who do your parents say I am?”. Take ownership. If you’re confused, don’t be afraid to ask questions.
11. Have a purpose for everything you do. That might seem a little ridiculous, but I’m serious here! Why do you watch that show? Why do you do that routine every day? What is your heart behind exercising? Check it out with biblical lenses.
12. Find a way to depend on God. Trials are great for this. How is God trying to teach you to depend on Him? Show Him that dependence through constant prayer. Challenge yourself to pray every hour for one day. Or challenge yourself to pray for someone thirty days in a row.
13. Ask God to help you use your talents for His glory. We’re all creative in a way. You can be creative in how you use your talents for God. Can you offer your talents for free to people struggling? Do you have a coaching or teaching heart?
14. Boys don’t matter. I’m serious. Once upon a time, getting a boyfriend was number one in my mind. And here I am, the typical single-Christian-20-year-old-who’s-sickeningly-content-with-singleness. But I don’t apologize for it! I wish I could get in the mind of tween and teen girls and make them understand just how little guys really matter in the grand scheme of things. Fact: If God wants you to date, He’ll work it out. Don’t finagle it or lose sleep!
15. Practice noticing the small things. We live in a busy world. Take time to really look at what God has made. When you’re flying, look out the window and marvel and how tiny everything really is. When you’re outside, feel the weather and enjoy the flowers and the sky and the clouds. Don’t be in such a hurry!
16. Listen more. We talk all the time. I can attest to this! I want to be better at listening. As my mom says (kinda), “No one ever learned by talking.”
17. Make a morning routine. My life changed when I committed to a morning routine. I’m not a routine person. I’m not a “rule” follower (just watch me “follow” a recipe—yikes—but may I say it tastes better??). But boy oh boy, after I committed to exercising, doing devotions, and walking every morning by 11? Imagine this: it all happened. Crazy stuff!
18. Listen to the Holy Spirit. There’s been times I’ve been prompted to do stuff and I don’t want to . . . but I know it’s from the Holy Spirit so I’d better obey! Listen for His nudging and it’ll become second nature.
19. Be vulnerable: how are you REALLY. There’s a fine line, and I’m fascinated with this: the line between being proud and wanting gratification for being “honest” or “open” (looking at you, social media). However, we are supposed to be vulnerable with other Christians. So don’t just ask “how are you”, but how are you really?
20. Don’t live someone else’s life. Let’s stop wanting her body and her family and her job and her opportunities. Go has given me my stuff, so I shouldn’t want her stuff. I’m not her! This is way easier said than done.

What are your top life lessons? I’d love to hear!