how i forgot what i was living for

I’m a workaholic. And I am usually aware of that.

It can be a good thing. But it can also be a bad thing, too (you probably relate!!).

In life, we tend to get our eyes stuck on the ground. We have times where we’re looking up to the sky, full of verve to be in God’s Word. We’re praying like we should, listening to ALL the podcasts, doing our devotions, and dwelling on heaven.

But then . . . something happens. Our gaze gets pulled down to the horizon.

And then . . . we’re looking down the road.

Soon, we’re just staring straight down at the pebbles under our feet, lost in the tiny details.

That’s what happened to me. Life started getting super crazy with work, and I tie a lot of my identity as a Christian to the calibre of work I do. I want everything, from Oh Beloved One to my novels to my job, to be completed with 150% effort.

But . . . that’s just not possible. Especially all the time. God only asks for our best. He remembers that we are dust (Psalm 103:14), after all.

I was soon just surviving from hour to hour. I was overwhelmed, and I made the mistake of not looking heavenward for strength and wisdom until I was way underwater.

Constantly throughout my life, I’m reminded that God needs to be my Plan A. Not my Plan B.

Or my Plan J.

And this was one of these times. Things had to get really bad before I realized I needed to pivot. And I have! Sometimes it’s frustrating to be human, though; you wonder why it takes a DRAMATIC event to get you back into the Word.

And yet God chose us. God chose you, knowing full well how many times you’d fail Him daily. And same for me—He chose me, knowing in great detail every single failure I’d ever go through in my life.

But He chooses the weak, the poor, the incapable.

So, this is just my reminder to you: Make God your Plan A today. And live with a kingdom mindset: because life is never going to get less crazy. Things will never settle down.

We must make our life fit God’s will and desires, not the other way around.