This is a part of the Command blog series where we’re talking about how the Ten Commandments aren’t just a dusty set of tablets with dumb rules . . . by a long shot!
P.S. Don’t forget to read our newly released, FREE devotional “Still”!
Between the ages of four and five, this commandment translates to “Obey mommy when she tells you to put your toys away.”
That’s hard enough.
Yes, I really do want every single doll, stuffed animal, and dollhouse out that I own. Yes, it’s necessary. *throws Polly Pocket jeep*
As we get older, though, this gets trickier. It finally hit me when I was about twelve that I could obey my parents . . . but still violate this commandment in a big way.
Honoring & obeying
THERE’S A DIFFERENCE
Obeying is doing what I’m told. That could be cleaning my car, moving my laundry bag out of the hallway, or not going out with a certain friend.
Obeying can be easy sometimes. I simply move my car; I simply don’t go out with that person . . . but I didn’t want to anyway.
But sometimes it can be really, really hard. Maybe I feel like they changed their mind about their previous directions/decision and had no right to. Maybe we really wanted to go out with that person.
That’s when honoring comes in. Honoring is doing what you’re told with a spirit of respect. Especially when it’s hard.
HONORING
doing what you’re told with a spirit of respect
OBEYING
doing what you’re told
The evolution of honoring
The older you are, the more this comes into play. I’ve heard from countless peers that it’s so hard to keep this honoring idea in your life once you hit 16. Multiply that times infinity once you go to college. And keep multiplying it by whatever number you choose once you turn 18 or 21.
The thing is, there’s this subconscious dialogue going on inside (I’m speaking from personal experience).
- They don’t know what it’s like to be me.
- They don’t know the “social suicide” that’ll happen if I don’t go to this/go out with this person.
- I could technically buy an apartment right now.
- I’d do such a better job at running my life by myself.
- I COULD KEEP GOING.
Need an example? Jesus.
A great example of honoring + obeying is Jesus in the garden.
He didn’t want to obey. He didn’t want to die on the cross. He even made these feelings known to God. But ya know what? He also told God He respected His moving in His life. He went ahead and obeyed in meekness and perfection.
Questions & exceptions
What if I’m, like, 30? Or out of the house?
Once you’re out from under your parent’s roof (and especially if you’re married), you’re out from under their responsibility. That translates to out from being subject to direct obedience.
We’re still called to honor them, however. This is caring about their welfare, respecting their opinion, and speaking respectfully.
Hold the boat: what if my parents are asking me to do things that aren’t right?
Ultimately, God is your number one authority. If anyone ever commands or even suggests you do something contrary to God, He trumps them.
This is a tricky tightrope to walk. Try to ask your parent why they’re asking this of you. Make sure to search the Scripture to back up why you stand where you do. If your parent is a Christian, hopefully they’ll be understanding and receptive to what you say.
If your parent isn’t a Christian, first off this is a great way to show them honor. No, you cannot obey them; but this is because you have Scriptural backing and a higher authority than them. Also, this doesn’t mean you must scream or yell or show any signs of a “fight.” You could be such a great testimony to your parent.
Honoring your parents isn’t easy, not gonna lie. Not everyone has a perfect family; in fact, NO ONE does. I feel for the people I’ve met (especially through camp) whose family situation is less than ideal. But Jesus didn’t call us to do the easy things. Let’s take these steps towards honoring our parents better TOGETHER, no matter how hard or easy it is.
I love this, thank you!! I am 20 and I still live at home and love my parents immensely, but sometimes it’s still hard to honor them and not just obey them. I really appreciate this post, thanks!
Yay, glad you enjoyed this! I totally get that. It’s just human nature! We all struggle, but we’re sanctifying strugglers haha. Thanks for reading!
This is such a good post!! It’s so easy to forget that we are called to continually honor and obey our parents, even if you’re not with them all the time (especially the honor part). Thank you for the reminder!
Aw absolutely! Thanks for reading. Honor comes in handy when you’re in college!